This morning I woke up feeling a bit lost. I had that icky, not so nice, don’t really quite know whats wrong with me feeling. I could tell something was off, could it be Sunday anxiety?
I did a little body check, feeling around, and yep physically all in one piece. Maybe I just woke up on the wrong side of the bed?
I start chatting with my husband about the day, and what we hope to get accomplished. The feeling was really starting to settle in on me. I’m not quite myself. I am a bit snappy, so I start to share. We chat about things that happened last week and what might happen in the week to come.
Then it hits me as we’re chatting, and the feelings start coming into view. I first notice the restlessness. In our conversation, I’m sharing how I’m not really sure how I fit in my career, where I am going, and what will I be when I grow up. My disease asks me these questions a lot.
Then my good friend irritable starts coming into view. Oh, did I mention I was snappy? Yes, yes, I was.
Finally, I can’t deny good old discontented. IF I was content, I would have been pleasantly in the moment. I would have felt gratitude for what I have: a home-cooked breakfast being served to me, my health, my happy home, my amazing husband and family, you know, my SOBRIETY. The list of all of the other AMAZING things in my life is quite extensive, when I let it be.
I woke up with a case of what I call RIDs. Alcoholics Anonymous mentions that restless, irritable, discontentedness that we feel that is unable to be relieved by anything but alcohol OR a spiritual solution. For me, these feelings have this negative synergy. They are a RED ALERT. DISEASE THINKING ACTIVE!
Thankfully, today’s case of the RIDs was easily combatted by an awesome meeting, and a lovely afternoon with my sponsor at which I received some great suggestions. #TYG
Anyone else there feel the synergy of RID? Do you ever look for the other two members of the trio when you notice yourself feeling one? How do you treat your case of #RID?