C · Uncategorized

Dogs

Five years ago tomorrow will be the day I adopted my pupper. I adopted him in one of the darker times of my life, about 4.5 years into my sobriety.  I’ve heard that Dog is God spelled backwards. This could not be more true in my life.

I had made it through a pretty dark winter and found myself in a very deep depression.  I was isolating more and more, my attendance at meetings was slipping, and not was not talking about it. Swirling down the guilt and shame drain took me to a place where I completely cut off every single one of my closest friends I had made in sobriety. I let my disease back in and it took over. It told me I wasn’t good enough and I was not worth the friendships I had made. I cried in shame every time someone tried to reach out to me and I ignored them. I was completely alone, all due to my own making.

On Friday April 13, 2012 I went to the SPCA and came home with a dog. For a super depressed person who could hardly get out of bed for work, a dog with no back yard is the perfect solution. A dog will make you get out of bed to take it for a walk, no matter what (If you haven’t read already I find walks do wonders for my physical, spiritual, and mental health). Soon enough I was getting out of bed at a decent hour, getting out of the house, and getting out of myself.  Very, very slowly I was freed from my self imposed imprisonment.

He goes almost everywhere I can take him. He loves riding in the car and especially loves to swim. He has moved with me and adapted to every situation we go into. He shows me how to love unconditionally and how to always be in the the moment. It still took years to find my way back into the rooms (a story for another day), but it all started with a dog disguised as God.

-C

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