This weekend I celebrated the annual passing of February 2nd by watching Ground Hog Day the movie. For those of you who aren’t familiar, Bill Murray ‘s character Phil repeats the same day (Feb 2nd) over and over throughout the movie until he has what I would consider to be a spiritual awakening (profound alteration in his reaction to life). Second step references anyone?
Sobriety can feel boring sometimes. It felt boring for me especially in early recovery. I was used to all the drama, chaos, and excitement caused by my drinking and my crazy friends. Eventually daily wild all night parties became replaced by early bed times, rush hour traffic, meetings, step work, and planned fun. WOO! Watch out now!
There are times in sobriety where life can feel very wash, rinse, repeat. I caught myself a few times lately (even tonight at the salon saying), “give me THE USUAL”. My disease WILL try to take advantage of these moments and give it a negative spin…
- I’m a dull dud
- I’m boring
- I never have any fun anymore
LIES. It’s all lies. Back in the day, “the usual” meant give me a Budweiser beer, a shot of whisky, and a crazy night that I couldn’t remember the next day. #TYG that’s not my usual today.
Today asking for the usual means I had the experience of learning what I like and what works for me in sobriety. My usual is a STABLE, SECURE, BALANCED life. These were things I prayed for in early sobriety, and now I have them MOST of the time. What a miracle?!
As far as fun, the fun I get to have today doesn’t come at such a high price (sanity), and it comes from a much more genuine place. I can say on a daily basis I get to experience joy, true love, friendship, and miracles that I was unable to experience while drinking. You know, just for today, “the usual” doesn’t seem so bad.