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Stinkin’ Thinkin’

In case you haven’t heard recently, and if you have (great taste in people!), I think you are awesome, smart, brave, tenacious, funny, capable, generous, creative, honest, fantastic, beautiful, courageous, and totally worth it.

There was a point in time where I would not have believed any of this if someone told this to me.  I had the negative tapes playing on constant replay for a long, long time.  It took a lot of undoing to get those tapes out of my head and start listening to some new tunes.  It started for me by saying affirmations every morning, and learning to recognize when I was in negative thinking (which was all the time).  This was really hard to do when, essentially, this was my “normal” state of being for my entire life.  How was I supposed to know that IS NOT normal?  Luckily, I was surrounded by a lot of people who were able to help me question and point out when my mind went to the dark side.

Luckily, today, the dark side really is not so dark…more shady every now and again.  Usually, though, it boils down to ‘I am not good enough.’ Which is all lies.  All lies my disease tells me to get me alone and dead.  Plain and simple.  So when I get ‘shady’ I just tell myself I am awesome, smart, brave, tenacious, funny, capable, generous, creative, honest, fantastic, beautiful, courageous, and totally worth it.

-C

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